So I read somewhere that in your first blog post that you should introduce yourself. I have never been comfortable with introductions, but this is an experiement to help me work out my feelings on life through writing so here goes nothing...or everything.
My name is Alice. I am 29 for the first time right now, although in July this year I will 29 with a year of experience. Yes folks I am turning technically 30 this year. I am married to a wonderful man, that I will refer to as Brady. I will be changing names to protect the innocent, and not so innocent. Yes even my own ;-) Why Brady, well DH loves Notre Dame, and football, and Brady is an Irish name. Not to mention I love it. You may wonder why I am referring to myself as Alice. Well, I feel like the new version of Alice in Wonderland is a story of a young woman finding herself and her voice. I want this blog to be about me getting to know myself and working to achieve my goals. So yes I am Alice in search of my Wonderland.
Brady and I have a fur baby named Hermione (okay so that is her real name). She is a kitty. I adore her. Brady says I couldn't have found a more girly cat, that suits my personality. I agree. She is even clumsy like me.
Hermione getting up close and personal with the main mouse.
Disney World is my happy place. Brady and I love it. Okay I love all things Disney, I suspect that Brady loves almost all things Disney but won't admit it except for Disney World. I wasn't even someone who went as a child. Brady and I went 3 years ago and I have been hooked ever since. I have always believed in pixie dust, fairy tales and dreams. All of the things that Disney sells. I am warning you now, Disney will leak into some of my posts.
Fashion is another thing that I love. I have always been into it. I am into budget fashion. While I do have a few nice purses that my very sweet husband has purchased for me as gifts, for the most part I buy everything off a clearance rack. I believe in trying to make my money go a long way. I hope to share some of my love for fashion with you :-)
I love reading, movies and TV. I love the creative aspect of creating a world within our world and getting to know characters and different ways of life (even if they are fictional.)I love getting swept up in a story. That is probably why I have always been into writing, but especially creative writing. This blog is foreign to me because it is my story. I am challenging myself to be honest, it is the only way that this experiment will be a success.
Here is the first thing that I am putting out there. Brady and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year. We have used clomid and I am ovulating but nothing is happening for us. I am a Christian, and this has become a test of my faith. I am still struggling with the fact that I feel like God believes that I wouldn't make a good mother. I see people who make the choice not to take care of their children and make extremely immature choices and they are rewarded with children. I am constantly wondering what I have done, to not deserve a baby. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, I have tried to stop, but when something triggers me my mind wonders to these thoughts and for a time I am inconsolable. Infertility is a dark place, quite possibly one of the darkest I have ever had to face. I just wish someone would give me a flashlight.
I promise this blog will not be sad all the time. For the most part I am an upbeat happy person, however everyone has their moments. I have so many wonderful blessings in my life that I am thankful for everyday. I will share my goals with you some time soon.
I have rambled enough for now, I hope you will join me on my journey through life.